"Ningning, I'm happy for you" she said choking in her voice over the phone at 3:24am in the morning. Happy for me?!! I thought in my sleepy head. She dumped and left me high & dry as she walked out that door. She just comes back around after all these months with a guilty conscious seeking to start afresh! I could only imagine looking into her eyes with tears and in pain. That part of me was long gone. it was only a few minutes ago i was flirting with another girl over the phone on my hostel terrace when she called. I wonder if she knew I'm not her boy toy anymore.
Looking back, she was like my first video game. "You complete me", I often say. Yeah she did. We were great friends and we become more than friends over time. Everything came around naturally and for the first time I understood the meaning 'made for each other'. We were awesome together in each others' wonderland.
Distance. Long distance relationship can turn sour and when it does, tattoooh boy, be glad you aren't there. The thought of betrayal, the thought of being cheated, the rumours and the lies that follows, it's an ugly sight. I thought i tried but time's a tricky thing and her phone was almost and always busy in the middle of the night. I knew it was time to move on but i didn't want to lose her. There was hope and hope is a good thing, they say. I stuck around until the minute she was proposed which I knew was coming and was coming soon. But damn, i didn't expect it that soon!
Life's an experience and it has given us so much and yet we curse along as we move on. How insensitive of us, i know. Anyways, she was happy with someone else and no, unlike the movies, I wasn't happy for her. It was painful to think of her in someone else's arm. Her facebook updates with her new guy was beyond what words could describe. My blood grows cold everytime. It's like magic! The only difference being the fact that I'm on the receiving end and not the viewer enjoying every minute of the trickery nature played upon me.
Staying in the metro city could be hard when you don't step out of your room and for a guy who doesn't drink or smoke and naturally who doesn't party much, I end up spending my weekends with the single guys in my hostel which is mostly and sadly all of them. The ignorant virgins and their talks about how they would and could but choose not to and the guys who pay to satisfy their urges is one hell of a bunch to kill time on weekends. A good bunch. By the way, if you are a girl and wants to get serious, find an IITian. They are saving themselves for marriage. No kidding. On a great weekend, a guy or two or less from each hostel would score some dates with real Delhi University (DU) girls while the rest have imaginary DU girlfriends in their laptops. Horny engineers. Yes, IITians rock, I know.
It was a few months after the so called break up that I finally thought it was time and told myself, "hey! I'm single" but then again looking at the girls in my college, IIT Delhi, I didn't have much of a choice. The good ones are taken, the other good ones are, lets' say, not available. the available girls, I don't know them yet. The girls in my friends' circle won't introduce me saying, "You are a bad boy and will be a bad influence". Oh yes, the bollywood movies are a good influence! And No, it doesn't get better than that.
Time's important and whenever I go back to my room to kill it, the train of thoughts follow. She blame me for the break up!! Apparently, I was never there for her and she found this time of the year convenient to tell me this. only if. We could have taken the other road. We could have found a solution together but no, she found a new guy for herself instead and decided to walk back right in when her new relationship turned sour. I was sleepy but her choky voice woke me up. I hate it when people blame me but this time, it was different. I knew I had not treated the way she should have. Deep down, I knew everything fell apart mostly because of my fault but I hated her. I felt humiliated with the way she treated me beyond reasons. She dumped me for another guy and that thought just gets deeper into the head. My heart grew cold.
Time heals everything and don't they say "patience pays"? A fine evening it was when I met this fine, charming and an extremely talkative girl who can talk about anything under the clouds. Dressed in white tee with some funky colourful graffiti on it, grey hot pants, her kissable lower lip pierced and so is her navel which I found out later and three sets of different earrings with white & red stones, big beautiful hazel eyes with black kajal. Oh summer bliss. She was seasoned with a deep-inked chimera tattoo on the back of her right shoulder, pretty as she could be, very comfortable with herself. I was lost in my contemplations until she looked at me and smiled. She's neither the kind of girl I usually go out with nor the kind of girl I thought I'd fall for. Life is not the way I had planned but I would like to think I'm doing better than awesome, atleast for now :)
